First Cannabis Cafe to open in Buckingham Palace

Queen 'It's great news for me and my furniture.'  

The UK's first Amsterdam style cannabis cafe is to open in Buckingham Palace it was revealed earlier today. A spokesman for the Monarchy unveiled plans for the cafeteria which will be stocking all the finest strains and will be open to the public all year round. For former Art Attack presenter Neil Buchanan, a renowned weed-smoker, the news has come as a complete shock.
'This is fookin mad mate,' exclaimed the Scouse artist 'I don't believe in the regime like, but are you tellin me I can fookin skin up and have a smoke with the fookin Queen? Fookin hell.'

The Queens Spin Doctor, Ethel Chuntingthorpe, has expressed her reasons for the controversial proposal. 'We wanted to be at the vanguard of the Cannabis Cafe movement which will be sweeping the nation in no time. The Queen has expressed her delight, and says it will be a relief to give Prince Harry a place to spark up and prevent him from hot-rocking the chaise-longue.'

Morrissey before he heard the news.

The news proved so divisive for Anti-monarchist, yet outspoken campaigner for the legalization of cannabis, Morrissey, that his head exploded. Word got to him as he was halfway through his set at a show in Oslo, and seconds later he was confirmed dead. An onlooker described the event, 'There he was approaching the second chorus of Dagenham Dave when the guitarist whispered something into his ear. Morrissey raised a solitary eyebrow then POOF, it was like something out of the film Scanners. Shame really.'

Morrissey after.