New bill passed cancels out the Aussies Ashes win.

You gotta tut laugh - Boycs

Fans of English cricket will be relieved to hear that a new bill has been passed in the House of Lords stipulating that what ever goes on abroad doesn't count. The English were whitewashed 5-0 by the Aussies in the latest Ashes series, though the win will count for very little now with the passing of this new 'fuck you, that doesn't count,' bill.
Cricket commentator and keen wife beater Geoffrey Boycott was delighted to have the Ashes back on English soil. 'It's a tough break on the Aussies, especially as they won so convincingly. However rules are tut rules and we have a bigger nuclear arsenal and the backing of the Americans. I'm sure they took this in tut consideration tut not make it political'. Not everyone was happy about the outcome of this controversial bill however. Ex-Aussie off spinner Shane Warne released a statement through his website earlier this week saying 'Fucking what? Can they do that? They can't fucking do that can they?'
Football fans are also ecstatic with the latest news from parliament. It means they are once again crowned World Cup champions, deleting over 50 years of tournaments played abroad.

Jimmy Hill was reanimated and released this statement to the press 'We won that World Cup fair and square back in 1966 on our own soil. We haven't hosted the tournament since and it's simply not fair that other teams have won the World Cup when it's not been hosted in this country. It's hard to argue with the logic of the 'fuck you, that doesn't count bill'.

The passing of the bill has been very popular with the British public and has seen the Tories rise 3 points in a recent poll.