Messenger now completely obsolete says Microsoft

Messenger - no longer relevant

Former glamour model Melinda Messenger has now been rendered completely obsolete by Microsoft. Execute chairman for Microsoft announced the news via its website yesterday, stating 'It's had its day, but we must move on.' The former Fort Boyard presenter was rumoured to have been angered by the timing and told a Newsround presenter how she learnt about the news.
'I was just in the middle of auditioning for the role of a talking tomato for a pantomime in Yarmouth, when all of a sudden I was told I was no longer relevant and was chucked off the pier. The sea end!'
Sam Boundy, an avid fan of the Messenger tweeted, 'I don't think this is really a surprise. Yes when Messenger first came out it was revolutionary, I spent countless hours on Messenger alone in my room. But to be honest, I have a wife and kids now and don't have time for Messenger.'

Lusardi - bloody cheek

Another former glamour model Linda Lusardi has spoken out against the news, 'I think its a bloody cheek.' The former Emmerdale star added, 'It's a tough world for us former pin up girls. As soon as the latest model comes along, its out with old and in with the new'
Melinda Messenger hasn't decided yet whether she'll contest Microsoft's decision to make her obsolete. 'I'll weigh up my options before making a decision. I still think I have something to offer. There's always Loose Women.'