Peter Crouch diagnosed with Short Man Syndrome

Crouch diagnosed with Short Man Syndrome

Scientists have now revealed that Short Man Syndrome isn't just confined to the vertically challenged. In a shocking disclosure earlier this week, Peter Crouch, the Stoke striker and former England international has announced that he has been stricken with the syndrome for most of his adult life. His prolonged bouts of jealousy have often been the wedge between himself and his wife, model and TV celebrity, Abbey Clancy. During Clancy's time on Hell's Kitchen, Crouch was convinced she was having intimate trysts with fellow contestant, and former Big Brother winner Brain Dowling. "We would find Crouch sneaking around the set spying on Abbey." Said the shows host Marco Pierre White. "He was certain that Dowling was making a move on his misses, he was convinced that Dowling's homosexual admission was all smoke and mirrors, a cunning rouse used to get into Abbey's knickers." The BBC bosses eventually ordered a restraining order against Crouch when he was found hiding in a gas oven in the restaurant where the show was being filmed.

Clancy - 'I knew about his condition all along'. 

Clancy was very forgiving of Crouch at the time and said. "Peter can't be blamed for his actions. I knew about his debilitating disease before we got together and we are seeing a therapist who specializes with Short Man Syndrome." Crouch's time in rehab seemed to be working until his sudden relapse which was in simpatico to Clancy appearing on Strictly Come Dancing. Seeing Clancy wow the judges and TV audiences with partner Aljaž Skorjanec sent Crouch's mental state into a tail spin. A source close to Crouch said "It was an unbelievable sight. We were in the living watching the show with Peter, when halfway through Abbey's Foxtrot he swore at the TV saying 'That cheating whore!' before throwing the tele into the outdoor pool. If only he could show that much passion on the football pitch I reckon he'd get back into the England squad." 

Fleetwood - 'I only masturbated to Clancy'. 

Other tall celebrities stricken with Short Man Syndrome have reached out to Crouch in the past few weeks. Mick Fleetwood, an ambassador for the TMWSMSC (Tall Man with Short Man Syndrome Charity) has been snapped leaving Crouch's house on more than one occasion. Fleetwood said in a statement to the press, "It's a bit of tricky situation because we both think that the other person is sleeping with each others wives. I have confessed to Peter that I have masturbated to Abbey's 2011 swimwear calendar and once more when I saw her doing the Cha Cha Cha, but that's as far as I'm willing to take it." Crouch has refused to comment on whether he has masturbated to or is sleeping with Fleetwood's wife. 

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